You know what, I shall forget about you, forget about all the times we had together, forget about how you hurt me countless times. Cos seriously, it sucks. Remembering something I shouldn't be. I never should have cleared my sms and email inboxes. They made me realise how close we once used to be. And now, we don't even look at each other. Every night before going to bed, do you know that I think about you? No matter how hard I try not to, you still appear. Yesterday night, I dreamt of you. I dreamt that we went back to see our CCAs' handover. And it was one of the best dreams I've ever had. Well, until I woke up. I really don't know what happened, but I just broke down. I've never asked for you to be my last or anything. I didn't even confess to you. And yet, you just cold-heartedly let me down. When you told me who you liked, I really gave my best to end my one-sided fantasy, I promise. But I was unable to let you go. I thought that everything would end soon, that I would be able to move on, but no. I'm not able to. Suprisingly though, I don't feel bitter whenever I see you with her, But neither do I feel happy for you. I don't even know how to react. I really hate myself for how much I've changed after I met you. And I hate myself for even falling in love with you. I'm really amazing, aren't I. I'm able to get over someone who loved me wholeheartedly in less than 2 months, but yet I keep clinging on to someone who never even liked me before, even after 3 months. It's been 3 months, yes it has. I've wasted 3 months of my life away for you. Yes, you. And let me get this across, even though I'm able to talk to you like I don't feel anything, and even though I can sms/msn you as though I've gotten over you, I haven't. I still keep track of the months and days. I'm really not capable of masking my feelings anymore. I've done it for too long already. I don't want to reveal all these feeling in case you get affected, but why should I even bother anymore? It doesn't matter whether I care or worry for you or not anyway. Because all these are one-sided. And it's pathetic. But yet, I still stubbornly cling on. I will move on, I will. It's only a matter of time. And by the time you ever realise, I would have been living life well, without you.
rach(: